Pain in My Head

(welcome. please browse the exhibition)

pain
in my head
though I’m no longer sure if the pain in my head is the pain from within or pain from bashing
my head against the wall to try to stop the pain from within

pain

must
make
it
stop

tears have long since dried on my face
too much crying blocked my nose and sinuses making the pain
in my head worse

pain
in my head

my brain tells me I should call somebody
but who
it’s two in the morning

my parents will be asleep and they have work tomorrow and I
was never their favourite anyway

if I call my lover his wife will answer and there’ll be
trouble
and pain
more pain

pain
in my head

so I drink
and drink a bit more
and open another bottle

there’s not much point using a glass as there’s nobody here
to see me and a glass would spill when I bashed
my head against the wall to try to stop the
pain in my head

perhaps another drink will stop the pain

pain
in my head

and I gather together all the pills in the flat
and arrange them in little piles on my bed

even the vitamins
although I’m not sure how effective the vitamins will be

I’m not sure how effective any of this will be since I’m
new to this game and I hadn’t planned for the
night to turn out like this

I just want to stop the pain
in my head

so I start to swallow the pills with mouthfuls of drink

seeking

oblivion

and release

from the terrible terrible pain

pain

in

my

head

One Response to Pain in My Head

  1. DJ Young says:

    ‘my brain tells me I should call somebody
    but who
    it’s two in the morning’

    One thing that always strikes me is the sameness and the difference of those suffering from depression/anxiety – I’ve been in that room, in the dark, too – and all those feelings of unworthiness that overwhelm and seem so honest. Nothing is more honest than that. Everything else seems false. Love how you see through it.

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